An interesting article in the Wall Street Journal published yesterday asks “Your Credit Card Has A Spending Limit. Should Your Marriage? (paywall).” This is a fairly common question and one I have discussed numerous times with clients even though it fits more into personal finance generally than investing specifically. The author offers the suggestion that partners have an agreed upon spending limit under which any purchase need not be signed off on by the other person. For example, as long as you want to buy something for less than $500, just go ahead and both partners agree to never question it.
This solution seems like a simple way to avoid arguments about excessive spending by one particular partner in a relationship, but it has an obvious drawback that the article fails to mention; usually one partner engages in the bulk of the problematic (real or perceived) spending. A simple per-item spending cap would likely work well when both partners spend roughly equally on discretionary purchases, but the bulk of the arguments about money will occur when spending patterns diverge. If one of you buys 10 $500 items per year and the other only buys 2 such items, you might not actually avoid having an argument about excessive spending.
Is there a better solution? Every relationship is different, but I think there is a near-perfect alternative. What if each partner gets their own monthly stipend that they can spend however they want with no questions asked? As long as each person is given the same amount each month, and the total allowance fits within the family’s overall budget (and thus does not impact your long-term financial goals), this set-up can work extremely well.
My wife and I combine our finances, except for this key item. All of our income goes into a shared account but we also each have our own bank accounts that are solely funded equally by automatic monthly deposits from the shared account. No spending limits, no questions asked. And our differing spending patterns (I tend to buy fewer, more expensive items, whereas my wife is the opposite) never come into play because we are each treated equally in such an arrangement.
I call this a near-perfect solution when I recommend it to others because I can think of at least two possible criticisms. One, if each partner automatically gets their “allowance” sent over to their account each month, you can pretty much assume it will all be spent eventually, which means total spending over time might be higher than it otherwise would (this is the same argument for zero-based budgeting in the corporate world). While true, as long as the monthly amount fits nicely into your budget and doesn’t impact other goals, I think it’s okay to spend a reasonable amount on yourself.
The other potential issue comes into play if each of you has a personal credit card that is used for these purchases. In that case, one partner could actually spend more than their allowance by racking up a credit card balance and just make partial monthly payments from their own bank account. If this system is to work, you need to have enough discipline to not rack up debt individually. If both partners aren’t okay with that, then simply scrap the credit cards and rely on debit alone for personal spending.
All in all, I think this idea works great for most couples, especially when compared to alternatives such as the spending limit concept from the WSJ article, which seems to have a glaring flaw.